Growth as a Teacher Candidate

PED3150: Becoming A Teacher Through Inquiry Into Practice
Professor Louise Hall

Blank spaces on the page,
She looks to me with blank expression:
“I just don’t get it.”
And neither did I.

— Lillian Rawson, December 2021

Dancing is more than just knowing the steps. Connection — whether to the music, to a partner, or to an audience — is the most important success criterion. Teaching has its own set of steps, but just like in dancing, we need to move beyond the routine into a rhapsodic zone of connection. An experienced teacher is able to flow with their students’ learning, navigating the stumbling blocks in what appears to be an effortless manner. I have been able to observe, co-plan and co-teach with my Associate Teacher (AT) and have seen panoramic glimpses of the experience resulting from decades in teaching. I am more inspired as I continue to be willing, to adapt, and to persistently grow forward as an adaptive expert.

It takes persistence and willingness to pursue the steps of teaching. During practicum, the students were (re-) learning to be kind, about how we can each embrace our individual role in building a safe classroom environment. We watched a video where a student urged us to make friends, to “quit the judging and get talking… because awkward is the new awesome” (Participant, 2016). It is a common experience to feel awkward at new beginnings! I smiled and was reminded of my personal objective to be gentle with my growing self as I reflect on my experiences and performance.

I remember reading an article where Carter (2020) describes that sometimes we give up when we perceive we are falling below our expectations. When we pursue goals, we need to allow ourselves space to be “bad at our desired behavior” (para. 11). I have struggled to remind myself that the goal of a teacher candidate is not to bask in the upper echelons of being an adaptive expert; it is to solidify the habits of ongoing practice, reflection, and adaptation. This idea is supported by Timperly’s (2013) model where teaching is described as an ongoing cycle of adaptive growth. In my practicum, I often found myself “surviving the reality shock” (p. 8), matching Timperly’s description of the experience of novice teachers. I wondered how I would be able to feel confident in the classroom. However, Timperly argues that an adaptive expert is focused more on one’s power to increase student success through relationships (p. 9). I now see that expanding my ability to connect with each student and to adjust the learning environment to support their growth is more important for me than just building my confidence at the front of the classroom.

As I reflect on my growth as a teacher candidate, another lesson I learned was that just as I frequently reached out to my AT, so my AT reached out to other teachers. It was a common sight to see teachers connecting with each other during lunch and prep periods. I would hear teachers asking about, for example, resources for their ESL learners, how to manage challenging behaviours, or particular activities to meet the needs of their students. I was surprised to hear questions from experienced teachers that I would also hear from teacher candidates. I realized that teachers are adapting to the current situation with its unique challenges. I could see the Standards of Practice (Foundations of Professional Practice, 2016) in action as the staff asked questions together, shared resources, and reflected on their experiences. I have learned that teachers can actively and effectively bring their challenges, strengths, and ideas to build each other’s tool boxes of resources, which in turn, builds students’ success.

Frequently in practicum, I could sense a student’s gap in understanding but I was unsure how to support them. I remember feeling uncomfortable as a wave of panic mingled with shame washed over me. I recognized I was forming a habit that I needed to address. However, a question from a student during a number talk activity became a remarkable moment for me. I realized afterwards (for the first time) that I did not battle a wave of shame or embarrassment when I found myself unsure on how to move forward. I slowed down, saw there was a gap, and I was able to consider possible strategies. I am reminded of a course reading that describes leadership as the “courage, curiosity, capacity, and commitment to working with and learning from and giving voice to the other” (Petriglieri, as cited in Achieving Excellence, 2018, p. 17). I realize I can be a leader as I bring these qualities into the classroom.

Overall, this practicum experience was a challenging and invigorating experience that opened a door for me to participate in the realities of teaching in a public school. Looking back, I see my first part of practicum experience as valuable and grounding. With the support of my AT, I began to feel secure to have a developing toolbox and to be in the process of becoming an adaptive expert. Being a professional means bringing this ongoing commitment to learning, reflecting and acting on growth opportunities to my practice. My students and I are likely to face more situations where we “don’t get it”, so I aim to boldly take up this space of growth together as a developing adaptive expert.

References

Achieving Excellence: Weaving together Student Achievement, Equity, and Well-Being. (2018). In Conversation, IV(6).

Carter, C. (2020, November 2). Here's how I finally got myself to start exercising. Ideas.ted.com. Retrieved January 9, 2022, from https://ideas.ted.com/heres-how-i-finally-got-myself-to-start-exercising/

Ontario College of Teachers. (2016). Foundations of Professional Practice. OTC.

Participant. (2016). Kid President's Guide to Making a New Friend. YouTube. Retrieved January 9, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoHdwUEfBts.

Timperley, H. (2013). Learning to practise: A paper for discussion. Auckland: The University of Auckland.